Written by Misty
Hey People,
My name is Misty and I wanted to share my testimony with you.
When I was little, I was abused by a guy while my mom was at work at night and after that I thought all guys were mean and abusive towards all women.
When I was six, my mom got in a huge car accident and almost died. I was so mad at God I told him “I hate you” and “you’re a big meany and you keep trying to kill me by hurting my mommy and me!!”
Then a few years went by and I was in fourth grade and I thought I was gay because I had no interest in guys only girls. I didn’t tell any body, not even my friend Kevin, and I told him everything. I kept this a secret from everybody. All of a sudden, I started getting really sad and depressed and in sixth grade, I started cutting myself. That was my way of “self medicating” It felt so good at first but when I was done, I was in so much more pain, but I thought it felt good and so what if it hurt. I felt fine, so it was no big deal.
Then one day Laurie Becker invited me over to her b-day slumber party and then asked me if I wanted to go to church with her and her family. I asked my family, and we started going. My mom and dad liked it, so I liked it but I didn’t feel close to God. I still felt very far.
Then, I prayed that I would feel Gods presence whenever I prayed or was at church and that worked for a year.
I started middle school and I met new people and stopped hanging out with Laurie. We would stop and talk sometimes, but that was it. As the year went on, I got worse. I started cutting more. I started smoking, drinking and getting in fights. Then, one of my friends introduced me to something called yaoi/henti (yaoi is gay anime porn, henti is straight anime porn). I thought that it was okay because it was like a comic book, but you read it backwards. Then, I was getting bored of yaoi and started watching real porn and I was satisfied. It made me feel better.
Read more...
